About 7 months ago, I was subjected to a harsh analysis of my life while I was in the pub.
Three gentlemen of later years, were drinking at the bar watching Spurs play one Sunday afternoon when I walked in. One of them enquired as to my health and was very polite. Another asked me where my boyfriend was at which point I said I didn’t have one and would be drinking alone. This prompted the man to question me in detail about why I didn’t have a man.
To all my fellow ‘single’ friends, have you ever found an answer to that question?
I informed him that I didn’t need a man in my life, that I had wonderful friends and family around me and that was all I wanted and needed.
He then proceeded to say that my family would die and my friends would marry and settle down with their own family. He stated that my friends would no longer have time for me and I would ‘die alone’. Thanks to that man by the way, you really made my day. That’s the summary by the way, the full version went on for a good 5 minutes.
Eventually one of his friend’s stopped him and apologised on his behalf. The man walked away, then came back a few minutes later and apologised himself.
I brushed it off, although it did bother me a little, until today. Now I’ve been thinking about this. Many a time I look at my life and wonder whether I should put more time into forming a relationship with a guy. But then I look at everything I have going on and wonder if I could find anyone who would put up with me being busy and working away, on a long term basis? I would need to find a similarly busy man who felt I was worth the wait and worth making time for.
But then why do I need to? What is it about life today that makes it so unacceptable/odd to take yourself out to dinner? Or to the movies? Don’t get me wrong, I miss the attention when I’m single, but why do we have to find someone to settle down with?
I’ve been drawn into the online dating world in an attempt to see if there’s someone out there who’ll take a chance on me. There is. My experiences were a little, erm, ‘special’, but it’s nice to know you’re attractive to someone. I think 😉
But I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not for me. It works for many, but I’m just not one of those people. I’d rather just be out and be approached by a guy (or be the one to approach a guy) and take it from there. That’s worked for me in the past so why not in the future?
I said to a friend of mine earlier that I may have missed my chance at capturing my ‘Prince’. That he may have already ridden off into the sunset with his ‘Princess’. But that thought doesn’t make me sad. Many people end up living their life with their best friend by their side. Sometimes their lover, sometimes nothing more than their confidant. But they’re happy. If I can find that happiness then what does it matter.
As a side note to this blog entry, I will point out that I have been, and do date, so it’s not that I’m some bitter, lonely woman who has never had a boyfriend, it’s just that I don’t understand some of the pressures of society and this is one.
Do we have to get married? Are we deemed a failure if we don’t find that special someone? Is it an unwritten rule of life? Why do people always ask if your ‘other half’ is ‘joining you today’?
I’m happy knowing that those I love and care about are happy. That I can be part of their life and in turn, they can be part of mine.
I just hope they remember to check on me when I’m old and grey to make sure I’ve not died while they’ve been busy with their own life 😉