Realisation

The time has come. I refuse to claim people are right, because I fail to see what that would achieve other than to fuel the desire of those around me to interfere in my life. However, it looks like I will not be able to complete the Half Marathon in Warwick.

To the fantastic people who have sponsored me, I am sorry. But with a bad few months emotionally and a dose of flu over Christmas which left me with bad chest problems for the whole of January, my training just didn’t progress as well as I hoped and needed. 

I remain determined to beat this and to keep running but I have to be realistic. I am only capable of running 6 miles and that’s not good enough this close to the event. 

I am most disappointed that I allowed the doom mongers to affect me as much as they did. The constant remarks on how my training isn’t right, how I’m ‘not a runner’ and that I shouldn’t push myself have, sadly, taken their toll. Only so much I can ignore. I hope you’re all proud of your interference.

You won’t beat me though. I’m just cutting you lot out of my life. I’ve had enough negativity to last a lifetime. I will face more difficult challenges in my life than this and I want people around me who support and encourage me. By that, I don’t mean telling me your way is the best and I am stupid for doing anything different. Or the disapproving looks, shrug of a shoulder and ‘well, it’s up to you’ comments. Unless you happen to be my personal trainer, in which case… you’re exempt from this particular rant.

It’s been two years since I went down with a virus that I thought would end my chances of ever taking part in a training session again. I look at where I am now and realise that although I am letting people down in terms of not getting myself to the start line in Warwick, I haven’t let them down in terms of the work I have put in over the last few months to get to where I am now. And I will continue to work hard and harder. I have more goals. I have a 10 mile run in Maidenhead planned in just a couple of weeks (which I hope to make) and a 40 mile cycle ride in May.

To those who have sponsored and supported me, I will make you proud. I’m just sorry not to be able to do it on 17th March.

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